Never that easy
by ultimatepencilsharpener
Summary: Kstniss thought she could get rid of herself to save me.. its never that easy. lots of peeta and katniss xxx
1. Chapter 1

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
** All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

-Enter Cameron Diaz-

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Cameron Diaz** – Coincidently I am hear for that very reason

*says in southern accent*

**Peeta:** Wait, wait aren't you that chick in that really bad movie about a box?

**All:** OH YER! That really was bad

**Cameron Diaz:** How dare you insult my work!

**Gollum:** What did you say?

**Cameron Diaz:** I said how you dare insult my work, now prepare to die! Because I can and I want you to!

**Llama:** Mmmrememeememem

**Cameron Diaz:** THE BOX!!!!!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-


	2. Chapter 2

After two seconds of complete darkness the gang wake up and find out that things are not what they seem…

**Cameron Diaz:** OMG where all ghosts!! I did it! I killed everyone!

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
**All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Ghostbusters enter:** When there's something strange in the neighbor hood. Who gonna call?

**All:** GHOSTBUSTERS!

**Ghostbusters:** THE BOX!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-


	3. Chapter 3

After dying twice the gang wake up yet again and once more things are not what they seem….

**Dr Parnassus:** WHAT. THE. HELL!. IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD!

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
**All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Dr Parnassus:** Oh I wish I was punk rocker with flowers in my hair! From 77-69 revolution was in the air!

**Gale:** HAHAHHAHA 69

**Dr Parnassus**: HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY SINGING!

**Dr Parnassus:** THE BOX!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-

**Gollum**: What did you say?

**Miscellaneous character:** Coin.


End file.
